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Tactical Breathing: Deploy Two Elite Drills to Neutralize Stress and Command Sleep

Tactical Breathing: Deploy Two Elite Drills to Neutralize Stress and Command Sleep

by Boris Schaak in News

When the World Feels Like Too Much

Let us be honest. Recovering from addiction is a journey that takes real strength. But some days are harder than others. On those days, stress and anxiety can feel like a heavy weight. It can make every step forward feel like a struggle.

You might know the feeling. Your chest gets tight. Your thoughts start racing and will not slow down. It feels like you are constantly on edge. Sleep does not come easily, and your mind will not rest.

This is not just in your head. This is your body's natural alarm system working too hard. It is called the "fight or flight" response. It is great for real danger, but when it gets triggered by daily stress, it can make you feel awful.

So, what can you do when it feels like too much?

You have a simple and powerful tool you can use anytime. It is always with you. That tool is your breath.

This is not just about "taking a deep breath." It is about learning a few special ways of breathing. These methods can send a direct signal to your body. They tell your nervous system that it is safe to calm down.

Think of it as a way to take back control. It is a way to find your footing when things feel shaky. Let us learn how to use our breath to find that calm.

2. Why Your Breath is a Superpower in Recovery

Think about what happens when you get stressed or anxious. Your heart might start to pound. Your muscles can get tense. You might feel like you cannot think clearly.

This is your body's built in alarm system. Its job is to get you ready to face danger. This is called the "fight or flight" response. It is a very old and powerful part of being human.

The problem is, in our modern lives, this alarm can get stuck. It can go off because of traffic, a tough day, or difficult thoughts. It does not know the difference between a real threat and a stressful moment. It just reacts.

This is where your breath becomes your superpower.

You see, your breathing is unique. It works automatically, like your heartbeat. But you can also choose to control it. You can decide to take a slow, deep breath whenever you want.

This is important because your breath is directly connected to that alarm system. It is like a remote control for your nerves.

When you breathe in a fast and shallow way, it tells your alarm system, "Danger! Stay on high alert!" This makes your heart beat even faster.

But when you breathe in a slow and deep way, it sends a very different message. It tells your alarm system, "It is okay. You are safe. You can stand down."

By changing your breath, you can literally change how your body feels. You can slow a racing heart. You can relax tense muscles. You can calm a busy mind.

This is not magic. It is science. And it is a tool you always have with you, ready to use whenever you need it. In recovery, having this kind of control is not just helpful. It is a superpower.

3. Your Go-To Tool for Instant Calm: The Physiological Sigh

Now that you know your breath is a superpower, let us talk about your number one tool for instant calm. It is called the Physiological Sigh.

This might sound fancy, but it is something your body already does naturally. Sometimes, right before you fall asleep or when you feel sad, you might let out a big, deep sigh. That is your body’s own way of trying to relax. When you do it on purpose, you are taking control of that calming power.

Why This Works So Well

When you get stressed, tiny air sacs in your lungs called alveoli can start to collapse. This makes it harder for your body to get oxygen. 

That feeling can make you even more anxious. The double inhale in this exercise pops those air sacs back open. The long exhale is what tells your nervous system to shut off the alarm. It is like a reset button for your whole body.

How to Do the Physiological Sigh

It is simple. You can do it anywhere, and no one will even notice.

  1. First Inhale: Breathe in slowly and deeply through your nose. Fill your lungs about three-quarters of the way full.

  2. Second Inhale: Right after the first breath, take one more short, quick sip of air in through your nose. This should top off your lungs, making them feel completely full.

  3. The Exhale: Now, let all the air out. Open your mouth just a little and let the breath flow out slowly and smoothly. Make the exhale last as long as you can. Try to empty your lungs completely.

That is one cycle. Doing this just two or three times in a row can make a huge difference.

When to Use Your Instant Calm Tool

This is your secret weapon for tough moments. Here is how to use it in real life:

  • Scenario: Stuck in Traffic and Getting Angry

    • What to Do: Your hands are gripping the wheel. Instead of yelling, use the Physiological Sigh. Do two sighs in a row. Focus on making the exhale longer than the inhales. This will slow your heart rate and help you think clearly again.

  • Scenario: A Craving Hits You Out of Nowhere

    • What to Do: The urge feels overwhelming. This is a perfect time. Stop what you are doing and do three Physiological Sighs. The long exhale helps your body release tension. It gives you a moment to pause and choose your next move, instead of just reacting.

  • Scenario: Lying in Bed with a Racing Mind

    • What to Do: You are tired but your brain will not shut off. Turn onto your back in the dark. Do five Physiological Sighs, really focusing on the sound and feeling of your exhale. It gives your busy mind one simple thing to focus on, which can help it quiet down.

What to Do When It Feels Weird or Hard

It is normal to run into a little trouble when you first try this. Here are some common obstacles and how to get past them.

  • Obstacle 1: "I feel dizzy or lightheaded."

    • Solution: This usually means you are breathing too hard or too fast. You are not in a race! Be more gentle. Make your breaths softer and slower, especially the second little sip of air. It should not be a giant gasp.

  • Obstacle 2: "My mind wanders and I lose count."

    • Solution: That is okay. The goal is not perfection. If you forget where you are, just start the cycle over. No problem. You can even say the steps in your head: "Long breath in... little sip in... slow breath out."

  • Obstacle 3: "I don't have time for this."

    • Solution: This is the best part. You do not need special time. You can do two cycles while waiting for a stoplight, before you answer a phone call, or while you are standing in line. It only takes about 15 seconds to do two of them. You always have time to feel calmer.

Remember, this is a tool. The more you practice it on easy days, the better it will work on hard days. You are learning to be the one in control of how you feel.


4. Your Daily Practice for Resilience: Box Breathing

If the Physiological Sigh is your emergency tool for instant calm, then Box Breathing is your daily training for long-term strength. Think of it like going to the gym for your nervous system. You would not wait for an emergency to start lifting weights. You train regularly to be strong for whatever life brings. Box Breathing works the same way.

Why a Steady Rhythm is So Powerful

Box Breathing uses a simple, steady rhythm. This rhythm of breathing in, holding, breathing out, and holding again sends a very clear message to your brain. It says, "Everything is under control. There is no emergency. We can be steady and calm." Doing this every day builds up your resilience. This means that when stress does come, you are stronger and it does not knock you over as easily.

How to Practice Box Breathing

The good news is that it is very simple. It is called "box" breathing because all four sides are equal, just like the four steps of the breath.

  1. Breathe In: Slowly breathe in through your nose while you count to four in your head. Feel your lungs filling up.

  2. Hold: Gently hold your breath for a count of four. Do not clamp down; just pause.

  3. Breathe Out: Slowly breathe all the air out through your mouth for a count of four.

  4. Hold: Once your lungs are empty, hold again for a count of four.

Then, you start the cycle over again. That is one box.

When to Build Your Strength with Box Breathing

This is your practice for building a calm and focused mind. Here are some great times to use it:

  • Scenario: The Morning Start

    • What to Do: Before you even check your phone, sit on the edge of your bed. Do two minutes of Box Breathing. This sets a calm and steady tone for your entire day.

  • Scenario: Before a Tough Conversation

    • What to Do: You need to talk to your boss, a family member, or your sponsor. You feel nervous. Right before you start, find a quiet spot. Do one minute of Box Breathing. This will help you focus your thoughts and steady your voice.

  • Scenario: When You Feel Overwhelmed at Work or Home

    • What to Do: The to do list feels endless. Instead of panicking, pause. Set a timer for just three minutes. Use that time to do Box Breathing. It will clear your head and help you figure out what to do first.

  • Scenario: Winding Down for Sleep

    • What to Do: You are in bed, but your mind is still busy from the day. Do five minutes of Box Breathing in the dark. Focus on the counting and the rhythm. This gives your brain a boring, peaceful task that helps it let go of the day's stress.

What to Do When You Run Into Trouble

It is normal to face some challenges when you start. Here is how to handle them.

  • Obstacle 1: "Holding my breath makes me feel panicky."

    • Solution: This is common. The trick is to make the counts shorter. Try a two second count instead of four. Breathe in for 2, hold for 2, breathe out for 2, hold for 2. The goal is to feel calm, not to struggle. You can always build up to longer counts later.

  • Obstacle 2: "I keep losing track of the count."

    • Solution: Your mind is supposed to wander. That is what minds do. When you notice you have lost count, do not get mad. Just gently start over from one. Every time you bring your focus back, you are strengthening your mental muscle.

  • Obstacle 3: "I don't have five whole minutes to sit and do nothing."

    • Solution: You do not need a perfect, quiet room. You can practice Box Breathing for just one minute while you are in the bathroom, waiting for your coffee to brew, or after you park your car. Every little bit of practice adds up to more strength.

  • Obstacle 4: "It feels boring."

    • Solution: It is okay that it is boring! The calm, steady rhythm is what makes it work. You can try to make it a game. See if you can do five boxes in a row without losing count. Or, picture your finger slowly drawing a square in the air with each step.

The most important thing is to be kind to yourself. This is a practice, not a test. Some days will feel easier than others. Just by showing up and trying, you are building a stronger, calmer, and more resilient you.


5. Weaving It All Together: A Path to More Peace

Now you have two powerful tools. The Physiological Sigh is like a fire extinguisher. You use it for sudden emergencies to put out a flare up of stress. Box Breathing is like taking daily vitamins for your mood. You use it regularly to build your long term health and strength.

The real magic happens when you use them together. This is how you build a life that feels more peaceful and in your control.

Your Daily Game Plan for Calm

You do not need to do a lot. Just a few small moments each day can make a big difference.

  • Morning (2-5 minutes): Before you start your day, do Box Breathing. This is like giving your mind a calm and steady foundation to build on. It helps you start the day focused, not frantic.

  • During the Day (15-30 seconds): Use the Physiological Sigh anytime you need it. Traffic jam? Sigh. Tough email? Sigh. Frustrating news? Sigh. Use it as your go to reset button all day long.

  • Evening (3-5 minutes): End your day with Box Breathing. This tells your body and brain that the day is over and it is time to rest. It helps you let go of the day's stress so you can sleep better.

Real Life Scenarios: Putting Your Tools to Work

Let us see how these tools work together in real situations you might face.

  • Scenario: A Family Gathering

    • The Situation: You are at a family dinner and someone says something that triggers you. You feel your anger rising fast.

    • Your Tool Kit in Action:

      1. First, use your fire extinguisher. Excuse yourself to the bathroom or step outside for a moment. Do three Physiological Sighs to calm your body's immediate reaction.

      2. Then, build your strength. Once you feel a little calmer, do one minute of Box Breathing standing right there. This will help you feel steady and decide how you want to respond, instead of just reacting in anger.

    • The Obstacle: You might think, "I can't just leave the table!"

    • The Solution: It is perfectly normal to say, "Excuse me for a moment, I just need some air." People do it all the time. Taking one minute for yourself is a sign of strength, not rudeness.

  • Scenario: A Hard Day at Work

    • The Situation: Your boss dumps a huge, last minute project on you. Your whole body tenses up and you feel overwhelmed.

    • Your Tool Kit in Action:

      1. First, put out the fire. As soon as you hear the news, take two Physiological Sighs at your desk. This will stop the panic from taking over.

      2. Then, build your plan. Before you dive in, take three minutes for Box Breathing. This will clear the mental fog. Often, after this calm moment, the project will not seem as scary and you can make a clear plan to start.

    • The Obstacle: "I don't have three minutes! I need to start now!"

    • The Solution: Taking three minutes to get calm will actually save you time. You will work more efficiently and make fewer mistakes because you are focused, not panicked.

  • Scenario: Trouble Falling Asleep

    • The Situation: You are in bed, but your mind is replaying every mistake you made today. You feel restless and awake.

    • Your Tool Kit in Action:

      1. First, release the tension. If your body feels jittery, start with three Physiological Sighs. This will help relax your muscles.

      2. Then, quiet your mind. Turn your focus to Box Breathing. The counting gives your busy brain a simple, boring job to do. If your mind wanders, gently bring it back to counting. Keep doing it until you fall asleep.

    • The Obstacle: "I tried it for a minute and it didn't work!"

    • The Solution: Do not try to force sleep. Just focus on the breath. The goal is not to "fall asleep," but to just "breathe in the box pattern." Sleep will come on its own when your body and mind are calm enough.

The Biggest Obstacle of All

The most common problem is forgetting to use the tools. Life gets busy and you just react the old way.

  • The Solution: Be kind to yourself. This is a new skill. You would not get mad at yourself for not being able to play the guitar perfectly on the first day.

    • Pick one thing: For one week, just focus on using the Physiological Sigh when you feel stress. Do not worry about Box Breathing.

    • Use reminders: Put a sticky note on your bathroom mirror that says "Breathe." Set a gentle alarm on your phone for a "Calm Check" each afternoon.

Remember, this is not about being perfect. It is about practice. Every time you use one of these breaths, you are taking a small step toward a more peaceful and resilient you. You are building your own path to more peace, one breath at a time.

6. You Have the Power to Find Your Calm

Your recovery journey is about taking back control. And as you have seen, one of the most powerful ways to do that is already inside you. It is your breath.

You now have two simple but amazing tools. The Physiological Sigh is your quick fix for when stress hits you hard and fast. It is your way to hit the pause button. And Box Breathing is your daily practice. It is how you build a strong and steady mind that can handle life's challenges without feeling so overwhelmed.

Remember, this is not about getting it perfect. It is about practice. Some days you will remember to breathe through the stress, and some days you will not. That is okay. What matters is that you are learning. You are building new skills that help you stand strong.

You do not have to walk this path alone. We are here to help each other.

What is one situation this week where you can try the Physiological Sigh? Share your plan with our community. Your courage might inspire someone else to try.

And if you are ready to build more tools for your recovery, we are here to support you. You have already taken a brave step by learning how to find your calm. Keep going, one breath at a time. You can do this.

You’ve Got This. And when it’s hard? Come back to this guide and take a deep breath.

I hope and pray you all got something from this info

Please join us on Instagram or Facebook.

We would love to hear from you 

Thank you for your time 

I wish you all another day, Clean and Sober 

Boris Schaak

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The Ugly Truth about Artifical Sweetners

The Ugly Truth about Artifical Sweetners

The Sweet Promise That Might Be Too Good to Be True Let us be honest. Who does not love a sweet treat? For years, we have been told we can have our cake and eat it too. All we have to do is swap the sugar for a "magic" zero calorie sweetener. It sounds like a dream come true. Think about it. Diet sodas, sugar free yogurt, and those little colored packets on every coffee shop table. Many of us made the switch, hoping it was a smart shortcut. We wanted to watch our weight or keep our blood sugar in check. It seemed like the perfect, guilt free solution. But what if that sweet promise was just a little too good to be true? New science is starting to pull back the curtain. And the truth is, that zero calorie sweet taste might come with a hidden price tag for our health. It is time to stop believing the hype and start learning the facts. Let us dive into the surprising story of what artificial sweeteners are really doing inside your body. 2. What Are Artificial Sweeteners, Anyway? Imagine you are a scientist in a lab coat. You are holding a tiny, powerful crystal. This crystal is so strong that a single pinch of it can make your entire drink as sweet as ten spoonfuls of sugar. But here is the wild part: that tiny pinch has almost no calories at all. That, in a nutshell, is an artificial sweetener. They Are Not Food, They Are Chemicals Let us get one thing straight. Artificial sweeteners are not grown in a field like sugar cane or sugar beets. They are not mined from the earth like salt. They are created by scientists in laboratories. They are man made chemicals that are specially designed to do one job: tickle the "sweet" taste buds on your tongue. Think of your tongue like a lock, and sweet tastes are the key that fits into it. Sugar is a natural key. An artificial sweetener is like a master key made in a lab. It fits into the sweet lock perfectly, but it is made of something completely different. Meet the Usual Suspects You have probably met these sweeteners before. You see them every day, often hiding in "diet" or "sugar free" foods. Let us meet the lineup: Aspartame: This is the star of Diet Coke and many other diet sodas. It is also in those blue packets called Equal or NutraSweet. Sucralose: This one is famous for being made from sugar... but in a way that your body cannot use for energy. You know it as the yellow packet, Splenda. Saccharin: This is the old timer. Your grandparents might have used it. It is the pink packet, Sweet'N Low. The Big Trick So how can something be so sweet with no calories? It is all about power and quantity. Imagine a regular sugar molecule is a single soldier. You need a whole army of these soldiers (a whole spoonful) to sweeten your coffee. Now, imagine an artificial sweetener molecule is a superhero. One single superhero is as strong as hundreds of sugar soldiers. So, you only need one tiny superhero (a tiny amount of sweetener) to do the same job. Because you use such a tiny, tiny amount, the calories are practically zero. Your body barely notices it is there... or does it? That is the real question. While your taste buds are being tricked into thinking they just had a big sugar party, the rest of your body is wondering what just happened. And as we are learning, confusion can cause some unexpected problems. 3. The Problem with "Tricking" Your Brain and Body Imagine you have a super smart, ancient security system inside you. This system has been running for thousands of years, and it knows one thing for sure: when your tongue tastes "sweet," it means energy is coming. Real, honest-to-goodness calories that your body can use to run, think, and live. For almost all of human history, this system was perfect. Sweetness was a rare and valuable signal for ripe fruit or maybe some honey. It was a signal that said, "Good news! Fuel is on the way!" Then, along came artificial sweeteners. Using an artificial sweetener is like pulling the ultimate prank on this ancient, wise security system. You're setting off the "SWEET!" alarm, but then you send in a ghost truck. There's a lot of noise and excitement, but when your body looks for the delivery of real energy, there's nothing there. The garage is empty. Let's dive into exactly what happens when this prank plays out, from your brain all the way down to your gut. Part 1: The Great Brain Heist The moment that artificial sweetness hits your tongue, a message rockets to your brain: "Sugar incoming! Prepare for energy!" Your brain, being a good manager, gets the whole body ready. It tells your pancreas, "Get ready to release insulin! We've got sugar to process!" Insulin is like a key that unlocks your cells to let sugar in from your blood. So, your pancreas sends out a wave of insulin. The cells in your muscles and liver get ready to open their doors. But then... nothing happens. No actual sugar arrives. This creates two big problems. First, you now have insulin cruising through your bloodstream with no job to do. Over time, if this happens again and again, your cells can stop listening to insulin. They become "insulin resistant." This is a major stepping stone toward type 2 diabetes. It is like the cells are tired of answering the door when no one is ever there. Second, this trick messes with your hunger signals. Your brain was expecting a payday that never came. It feels cheated. So, it might send out even stronger hunger signals to try and get the energy it was promised. You can end up feeling hungrier than you were before, and you might start craving real carbs and sugar to make up for the shortfall. That "diet" soda can actually make you reach for a cookie an hour later. Part 2: The Taste Bud Takedown Have you ever turned up the volume on your headphones because a song was too quiet? You crank it up, and for a while, it sounds great. But then, a normal volume seems way too quiet afterward. Your ears have adjusted. The exact same thing happens with your taste buds. Artificial sweeteners are hundreds of times sweeter than sugar. When you use them regularly, you are basically "cranking up the volume" on sweetness for your taste buds. A strawberry used to taste perfectly sweet. But after you have been flooding your tongue with super sweet chemicals, that natural strawberry might start to taste boring and bland. Broccoli? Carrots? Forget it. They have their own subtle, wonderful flavors, but they cannot compete with the intense, artificial sweet blast you have gotten used to. This can change your entire relationship with food. Healthy, whole foods begin to seem unappealing. You start to prefer only the super sweet, super intense tastes of processed foods. This makes eating a healthy diet much, much harder because nothing on the healthy menu seems to taste good anymore. Part 3: The Gut Garden Surprise Now, let's take a journey down to one of the most important parts of your body: your gut. Imagine your gut is like a beautiful, thriving garden. This garden is filled with trillions of tiny bacteria. This is your gut microbiome. Most of these bacteria are your friends. They help you digest food, fight off germs, and even make chemicals that keep your brain happy. A healthy gut garden has a wide variety of different bacteria, all working together. Scientists are now discovering that artificial sweeteners are like a strange, chemical rain falling on this garden. This rain does not nourish the good, helpful bacteria. In fact, some studies show it might actually feed the less helpful, "bad" bacteria. When the balance of your gut garden gets messed up, it is called "dysbiosis." This can lead to real problems. You might experience more gas, bloating, and stomach discomfort. But it goes even deeper. An unhappy gut has been linked to a weaker immune system, more inflammation in the body, and even feelings of sadness and anxiety. So, that zero calorie sweetener might be saving you calories from sugar, but it could be causing a riot in your gut garden, with consequences for your entire body. Part 4: The Metabolism Mix-Up Your body is a brilliant, energy managing machine. It is very good at burning calories to keep you warm and give you energy. This process is called your metabolism. When you eat real food, your metabolism kicks into gear. It starts working to break the food down and burn it for fuel. This is called diet induced thermogenesis. It is like stoking a fire. But what happens when you consume something your body does not recognize as real food? Some research suggests that when you trick your body with artificial sweeteners, the metabolic "fire" does not get stoked the same way. Your body might not ramp up its energy burning machinery because it did not get the real fuel signal it was expecting. Think of it this way: if you tricked your car into thinking it was getting gas by spraying a sweet smell into the tank, the engine would not actually start. Your body's engine is smarter, but the confusion can still cause it to run less efficiently. Over time, a slower metabolism makes it easier to gain weight and harder to lose it. Putting It All Together: The Domino Effect So, let's watch the dominoes fall after you drink that diet soda: Domino 1 (Tongue): Your tongue tastes extreme sweetness and tells your brain, "Energy is coming!" Domino 2 (Brain): Your brain tells your pancreas to release insulin to handle the expected sugar. Domino 3 (Bloodstream): Insulin shows up, but there's no sugar to manage. This can lead to insulin resistance over time. Domino 4 (Hunger): Your brain, feeling cheated, makes you feel hungrier and crave real sugar to make up for the missing energy. Domino 5 (Taste Buds): Your taste buds get used to this super sweet taste, making healthy foods like fruit and vegetables seem boring. Domino 6 (Gut): The artificial chemicals travel to your gut and disrupt the delicate balance of your good and bad bacteria. Domino 7 (Metabolism): Your body's calorie burning engine gets confused and may not rev up as it should. What started as a simple trick on the tongue sets off a chain reaction that involves your hormones, your brain, your gut, and your metabolism. It is a brilliant example of how everything in your body is connected. And it shows that "zero calories" does not mean "zero effect." The effect is just a lot more complicated, and a lot more surprising, than we ever imagined. 4. The Big Health Concerns We Can't Ignore So, we have seen how artificial sweeteners play a tricky game with your body's wiring. But you might be thinking, "A little confusion can't be that bad, right? I'm still saving calories!" This is where we have to look at the bigger picture. Imagine you buy a car that has a strange quirk: every time you press the gas pedal, it sometimes accelerates and sometimes just revs the engine without moving. At first, it might not seem like a big deal. But over thousands of miles, that quirk is going to cause serious wear and tear on the engine, the transmission, and your patience. Using artificial sweeteners is like that. The "prank" on your body is not just a one time joke. When you drink diet soda every day or add those sweetener packets to your coffee for years, that little trick adds up to some very real, and very serious, health concerns. Let's pop the hood and look at the potential damage. Concern #1: The Weight Gain Wonder This is the biggest surprise for most people. We use artificial sweeteners to lose weight, so how on earth could they possibly make us gain weight? It seems to defy logic, but the science is pointing in a clear direction. Long term studies that follow people for years have found a puzzling link: people who regularly consume diet sodas and artificial sweeteners often have higher body weight, a larger waist size, and a greater risk of becoming obese than those who do not. "But wait," you say. "How can something with no calories cause weight gain?" It goes back to the trick we talked about. Here is how the zero calorie illusion can backfire: The Hunger Trigger: Remember, your brain was promised energy that never arrived. So, it fights back by making you feel hungrier than you normally would. This can lead you to eat more during your next meal. You might not even realize you are eating an extra handful of chips or a bigger dessert because your brain is trying to make up for those missing calories it was promised. The Craving Machine: Artificial sweeteners keep your taste buds craving super sweet things. This makes you more likely to choose other sweet, and often unhealthy, snacks throughout the day. That sugar free yogurt might not have calories, but it might set you up for a craving for a sweet muffin later. The Calorie Confusion: Some scientists think that when your body gets fooled by "sweet without calories" too often, it loses its natural ability to regulate how many calories it needs. Its internal calorie counter gets broken. This can make it harder for you to feel full and satisfied from normal, healthy food, so you end up eating more overall. Think of it like a budget. If you keep getting fake messages that money is coming into your bank account, you might start spending more freely, not realizing your actual balance is getting low. Your body's "calorie budget" can get just as confused. Concern #2: The Blood Sugar Roller Coaster This is a major concern, especially for the millions of Americans who are pre diabetic or managing type 2 diabetes. People often switch to artificial sweeteners to keep their blood sugar stable. It seems like the perfect solution. But the story is more complicated. Remember the insulin problem? When your tongue tastes sweet, it can cause your body to release insulin, the hormone that tells your cells to absorb sugar from your blood. So, you drink a diet soda. Your insulin levels go up. But since no real sugar arrives, that insulin is just floating around with nothing to do. High levels of insulin in your blood when there is no sugar to manage is a problem. It can make your cells "numb" to insulin over time. This is called insulin resistance. When your cells are insulin resistant, they stop listening to the hormone's instructions. So, later, when you eat a piece of bread or a real piece of fruit, your body has to pump out even more insulin to get your cells to absorb the sugar. This creates a dangerous cycle of higher and higher insulin levels, which is a direct path to developing type 2 diabetes. You were trying to avoid a blood sugar spike, but you might have instead made your body worse at handling sugar altogether. Concern #3: The Heart of the Matter Your heart is the hardest working muscle in your body, and it deserves the best fuel we can give it. Unfortunately, large studies that track people's health over many years have started to notice a worrying trend. People who drink a lot of diet soda every day seem to have a higher risk of having a heart attack or a stroke. This is true even when scientists account for other factors like weight, smoking, and diet. Why would a zero calorie drink affect the heart? Researchers are still figuring it out, but there are a few strong theories: The Blood Pressure Link: The constant insulin spikes we talked about can damage your blood vessels over time, making them stiffer and less flexible. This can lead to higher blood pressure, which is a major strain on the heart. The Inflammation Connection: Remember the unhappy gut garden? An imbalanced gut can lead to more inflammation throughout your entire body. Think of inflammation as tiny, slow burning fires inside your blood vessels. This chronic inflammation is a known culprit in heart disease. A Marker for an Unhealthy Lifestyle: It is also possible that people who drink a lot of diet soda might have other habits that are not heart healthy. But the studies are strong enough that many doctors now see high diet soda consumption as a red flag for heart health. Concern #4: The Unhappy Brain Your gut and your brain are in constant conversation through a special nerve called the vagus nerve. It is a superhighway of information. When your gut bacteria are upset because of artificial sweeteners, they can send worrying messages up to your brain. This "gut brain axis" is a new and exciting area of science. Early research suggests that the disruption artificial sweeteners cause in your gut could be linked to changes in your brain. Some animal studies have shown that sweeteners can affect memory and learning and may even increase anxiety like behaviors. While we need more research in humans, it makes sense. If you are constantly confusing one part of your body's complex system, it is going to have ripple effects everywhere, including your mood and your brain health. 5. So, What Should You Do? Practical Steps for a Sweeter, Healthier Life Okay, so we have talked about the problems. It is easy to feel a little overwhelmed or even frustrated. You might be thinking, "First, they told me sugar was bad. So I switched to the fake stuff. Now you are telling me the fake stuff is bad too? What is left, just plain water forever?" Do not worry. This is not about giving up everything you love. It is not about living a life of flavorless boredom. In fact, it is the exact opposite. This is about taking back control. It is about moving away from tricky chemicals and rediscovering the honest, delicious sweetness that real food has to offer. It is about breaking up with that super sweet, artificial relationship and forming a new, healthy friendship with sweetness. Think of it as a fun adventure, not a punishment. Let us map out your journey. Step 1: Become a Detective, Not a Judge The first step is not to throw everything out of your fridge. The first step is simply to notice. For one week, your mission is to become a food detective. Look at the ingredients list on everything you eat and drink. You are not there to judge yourself or feel guilty. You are just gathering clues. Get curious! Look for the secret agents we talked about: aspartame, sucralose, saccharin. You will be shocked where they hide. Check your "light" yogurt. Check your "sugar free" candy. Check your "diet" iced tea. Check the protein bars you eat after the gym. Check the "low calorie" syrup on your pancakes. Check the "healthy" granola cereal. You do not have to change anything yet. Just read the labels and see the story they tell. Knowledge is power, and right now, you are charging up your power cells. Step 2: The Gentle Break Up Now that you know where the artificial sweeteners are, it is time to start saying goodbye. But we are going to do this kindly and slowly. If you try to quit all at once, your taste buds will rebel. Your taste buds have been at a super sweet rock concert for years. We need to gently lead them to a calming jazz club instead. If we yank them out too fast, they will just crave the loud music again. Here is your game plan: The One at a Time Rule: Pick one thing to change first. Maybe it is your morning coffee. Instead of two packets of that pink or blue stuff, try one and a half for a week. Then try just one. Then, see if you can try just half a packet mixed with a tiny sprinkle of real sugar or a dash of cinnamon. Go slow. The Dilution Solution: If you drink diet soda, you do not have to go cold turkey. Try this: pour a glass of half diet soda and half sparkling water. You will still get the fizz and some flavor, but you are cutting the artificial sweetener dose in half. Next week, try one quarter diet soda and three quarters sparkling water. Find a Fun Replacement: This is the fun part. You are not just taking something away; you are trading up! Instead of diet soda: Try sparkling water like LaCroix or Bubly. If it tastes too plain at first, squeeze in a big wedge of fresh lemon, lime, or orange. The natural oils in the peel add amazing flavor. You can even mash a few raspberries or a slice of pineapple in the bottom of your glass. Instead of sugar free syrup: Try warming up some real maple syrup or honey and mixing it with a little melted butter to pour over your pancakes. Because it has real, rich flavor, you will find you need much less to feel satisfied. Instead of "light" yogurt: Buy plain, whole milk yogurt and add your own sweetness. Stir in a spoonful of real jam, a handful of fresh berries, or a drizzle of honey. You control the sugar, and you get the bonus of real fruit. Step 3: Retrain Your Taste Buds This is the most powerful step of all. You are going to teach your mouth to appreciate subtle sweetness again. This does not happen overnight, but it does happen faster than you think. The Fruit Challenge: Every day, eat one piece of whole fruit when you feel a sweet craving. But here is the key: eat it slowly. Pay attention. Do not just swallow it. Eat a blueberry. Let it sit on your tongue. Notice its gentle sweetness and its slight tartness. Eat a strawberry. Smell it first. Feel its juicy texture. Eat a piece of sweet, crunchy apple. Eat a slice of mango and notice how it tastes like sunshine. Your brain will start to remember, "Oh, THIS is what real sweetness tastes like!" It is complex and interesting, not just a one note, chemical blast. After a few weeks of this, if you take a sip of a diet soda, it will likely taste sickly sweet and weirdly chemical. That is a sign you are winning! Spice is Nice: Use spices to create the illusion of sweetness without any sugar at all. Cinnamon, nutmeg, and vanilla are your new best friends. Add cinnamon to your coffee grounds before you brew it. Stir a drop of pure vanilla extract into your oatmeal or yogurt. Sprinkle nutmeg on sliced apples. These warm, sweet tasting spices trick your brain into feeling like you have had a treat, and they are full of antioxidants too. Step 4: Rethink Your Drinks Liquid calories and liquid chemicals are a huge part of this problem. Focus here for a big win. The Herbal Tea Treasure Chest: There is a whole world of herbal teas that are naturally sweet and delicious without any added anything. Rooibos Tea: This South African tea is naturally sweet, nutty, and caffeine free. Chamomile Tea: It is naturally slightly sweet and is famous for helping you relax. Peppermint Tea: It has a sweet, refreshing finish that can satisfy a dessert craving after a meal. Explore the tea aisle at your grocery store. Find a few that sound good to you. Making a cup of tea is a calming ritual that also helps you hydrate healthily. Step 5: Be a Smart Shopper When you are buying packaged foods, be savvy. Look at the "Added Sugars" Line: On the nutrition facts label, there is a line for "Added Sugars." This is different from the natural sugars found in milk and fruit. Try to choose foods where this number is low. Read the Ingredient List: If sugar (or one of its many nicknames like corn syrup, fructose, etc.) is one of the first three ingredients, that food is mostly sugar. Put it back and look for a better option. Embrace a Little Bit of the Real Thing: It is better to have a small amount of real, organic cane sugar or pure honey than a large amount of a chemical sweetener. Your body knows what to do with real sugar in small amounts. It has no idea what to do with sucralose. Your Sweeter, Healthier Life is Waiting We have been on quite a journey together. We started with a simple question: are artificial sweeteners the perfect solution they seem to be? We looked under the hood and discovered that these zero calorie chemicals are not just innocent bystanders. They are active players that can confuse our brains, mess with our hunger signals, upset our gut garden, and may even affect our long term health. It is a lot to take in. But here is the most important thing to remember: you are now in the driver's seat. You are no longer in the dark. You know that the promise of "having your cake and eating it too" might have been a little too good to be true. You understand that "zero calories" does not mean "zero consequences" for your body's complex systems. This is not about living a life of restriction or saying a permanent goodbye to sweet flavors. It is about saying "hello" to something so much better. It is about the deep, rich satisfaction of a handful of sweet blueberries. It is about the comforting warmth of a cinnamon sprinkled apple. It is about the simple joy of a cold glass of sparkling water with a squeeze of fresh lime. You are on a path to retraining your taste buds to appreciate the true, wonderful sweetness that real food has to offer. It is a quieter, more complex, and far more rewarding kind of sweetness. This change does not have to happen all at once. Start small. Be a detective in your own kitchen. Try swapping one diet soda for a fun, fruity sparkling water. Add a new herbal tea to your shopping cart. Every small choice you make is a step toward a healthier, happier you. A you that is in control, informed, and empowered to make the best choices for your body. You have the power to break up with the fake stuff and fall in love with real food again. Your sweeter, healthier life is waiting. And it tastes amazing. You’ve Got This. And when it’s hard? Come back to this guide and take a deep breath. I hope and pray you all got something from this info Please join us on Instagram or Facebook. We would love to hear from you  Thank you for your time  I wish you all another day, Clean and Sober  Boris Schaak

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Is Your Anger Serving You or Mastering You? The Outrage Algorithm, making Amends and Resentment Detox for Peace

Is Your Anger Serving You or Mastering You? The Outrage Algorithm, making Amends and Resentment Detox for Peace

You know that feeling? When you see something on the news or online that makes you really mad. Your heart beats fast. Your stomach gets tight. You feel upset and frustrated.  You saw the news about the shooting that happened. Things like that can make the world feel anxious and out of control. It's easy to feel overwhelmed by all the anger and arguing around us. For us people in recovery, this is all too familiar a pitfall. We worked hard to stop drinking or using. But sometimes, those old feelings of anger and helplessness come back. They just find a new target, like the news or politics. This leaves us with a very important question: Is your anger helping you, or is it controlling you? Is your anger a useful signal that leads you to do something good? Or is it just a poison that ruins your day and your peace? This article is about how to tell the difference. We'll use simple steps from recovery to help you handle these big feelings. The goal is to help you find calm, even when the world feels crazy. Part 1: The Daily Inventory: Taking Our Own Temperature Imagine you wake up feeling hot. Your head is steaming with pain. Your body aches. You know something is wrong. What is the first thing you do?  You probably find a thermometer and take your temperature. That number on the thermometer tells you a very important fact. It says, "You have a fever. Your body is fighting something." It does not cure the sickness, but it gives you the information you need to start getting better. Now, think about your emotions. Think about that feeling you get when you see a frustrating news alert. Or when a family member says something that just makes you see red.  Your heart might beat faster. Your face might feel hot. You might get a tight feeling in your chest or your stomach. You might feel restless and irritable and like you just want to scream. This feeling, this anger and resentment, is just like an emotional fever. It is your spirit's way of telling you that something is wrong. It is a signal you cannot ignore. But what do most people do with this signal?  They often ignore it, or they feed it. They might argue with the TV. They might post an angry comment online.  They might call a friend to complain for an hour. This is like seeing a fever of 104 degrees and deciding to jump into a sauna. It only makes the problem much, much worse. For people like you, in recovery, this is especially dangerous. We spent a long time trying to fix our inside problems with outside solutions. We used drinks or drugs to try to make those bad feelings go away. Now that we are clean, we have to find new tools. We have to learn how to actually heal the fever instead of just pretending it is not there. This is where the Daily Inventory comes in. You might remember doing a big, Fourth Step inventory when you first started recovery. That was like a major surgery. It was a huge, deep clean of all the old resentments that were making you sick. But recovery is not just about that one big surgery. It is about daily health.  You would not have surgery and then never brush your teeth again, right? The Daily Inventory is like brushing your teeth for your soul. It is a way to check in with yourself every single day and clean out any new resentment before it has a chance to grow and make you really sick. The best way to do this is to use a simple piece of paper and a pen. There is something powerful about writing your thoughts down by hand. It makes them real. It gets them out of the swirling storm in your head and onto a page where you can actually look at them.  It is like taking the monster out of the shadows and shining a light on it. Suddenly, it does not seem so big and scary anymore. So, let us break down how we take our emotional temperature. We are going to use four columns on our page.  This might seem simple, but do not let that fool you. This simple tool has saved millions of people from relapse and misery. Column 1: Who or What Am I Mad At? This is where you start. You just make a list. Be simple. Be direct. There is no need to write a long story here. Just write down the name of the person, or the thing, that is causing you to feel this resentment. Who makes your blood boil? Is it a politician you saw on TV? Write their name down. Is it a family member who always knows how to push your buttons? Write their name down. Is it an institution, like a company that overcharged you or the government for making a stupid law?  Write it down. Is it a principle, like a feeling that the world is unfair? You can even write that down. "The unfairness of the world" is a totally valid thing to put in this first column. The point of this column is to get the resentment out of your head and identify it. You are naming your problem. You cannot fight an enemy you refuse to see. Column 2: What Did They Do? Now, next to each name or thing on your list, you get to write your case against them. This is your chance to state your complaint. What was the specific thing that this person or institution did that hurt you? Try to stick to the facts as you see them. For example, do not just write "My boss is a jerk." That is not a specific action. That is your opinion about his character. Instead, write the fact: "My boss passed me over for the promotion and gave it to someone else." Or, "My brother told the whole family my private business at dinner." Or, "That news commentator said that all people in recovery are weak." This column is about the specific injury. It is about what happened that made you feel wronged. It is important to write this down because it helps you understand what exactly triggered you. Column 3: Why Does This Bother Me So Much? What Part of Me Did It Hurt? This is the most important column. This is where the real healing begins. This is where you move from being a victim of the world to being a detective of your own soul. For each resentment on your list, you must ask yourself this powerful question: "Why does this bother me? What part of me did this injury hurt?" The Big Book teaches us that our resentments almost always hurt one or more of these four areas inside of us: My Self-Esteem: Did it hurt my pride? Did it make me feel stupid, worthless, or embarrassed? For example, if your boss passed you over, did it make you feel like you were not good enough? That is a blow to your self esteem. My Security: Did it threaten my safety? Did it threaten my money, my job, my home, or my relationships? For example, if a new law is passed, does it make you feel like your family's financial security is at risk? That is a threat to your security. My Ambitions: Did it get in the way of something I wanted? Did it block my goals or my plans? Using the boss example again, not getting the promotion blocked your ambition to move up in your career and make more money. My Personal Relationships: Did it cause a problem between me and someone I care about? Did it make me feel lonely or disconnected? Most of the time, our biggest resentments are not about the thing that happened on the surface. They are about the wound it pokes inside of us. That news commentator might make you angry because what he said threatens your feeling of security and hurts your pride. Your brother might make you angry because he betrayed your trust and hurt your personal relationship with him. When you fill out this third column, you are no longer just angry at the world. You are understanding your anger. You are finding the root cause of your emotional fever. You are discovering that you are not angry because of your boss. You are angry because your boss made you feel insecure and worthless. That is a feeling you can actually work on. You cannot change your boss, but you can work on building your own self esteem and sense of security. Column 4: What Was My Part? How Was I Selfish, Dishonest, Self Seeking, or Frightened? This is the hardest column. This is also the column that sets you free. This is where you stop looking at what everyone else did to you and you start looking at your own role in the situation. For each resentment, you must ask yourself: "Where was I at fault?" Now, this does NOT mean that everything is your fault. If someone shot someone else, that is clearly not your fault. But your reaction to it might be. This question is not about taking blame for everything in the world. It is about finding your own responsibility. It is about finding the places where you had a choice. It is about cleaning your side of the street. The Big Book gives us a great guide for this. It asks us to look for where we were: Selfish: Was I only thinking about what I wanted? Was I not considering other people's needs or feelings? Dishonest: Did I lie to myself or to others? Did I exaggerate the problem? Did I pretend to be okay when I was not? Self Seeking: Was I just trying to get something for myself? Was I trying to look good or be right? Frightened: Was I acting out of fear? Was I scared of losing something? Was I scared of looking bad? Let us use an example. Imagine your resentment is: "My friend did not call me on my birthday." Column 1: My friend. Column 2: They did not call me on my birthday. Column 3: It hurt my self-esteem (it made me feel forgotten and unimportant) and it hurt our personal relationship. Column 4: My Part: Was I self-seeking? Did I expect them to read my mind and know I wanted a call? Was I dishonest? Did I not tell them how important it was to me? Was I selfish? Did I forget that they have a very sick child at home and are incredibly stressed? Was I frightened? Am I afraid that our friendship is fading and this is proof? Do you see how that works? You are not saying it was your fault they did not call. You are looking at your own expectations, your own actions, and your own fears that turned a simple forgotten phone call into a major resentment. Finding your part is the most powerful step because it gives you your power back. If everything is everyone else's fault, you are just a helpless victim. Life happens to you. But when you find your part, you realize you have choices. You can choose to communicate your needs. You can choose to adjust your expectations. You can choose to offer grace. You can choose to let it go. Part 2: The Poison and the Antidote Imagine you are walking through your kitchen. You see a bottle on the counter with a big skull and crossbones on it. Underneath the picture, the label says in huge letters: POISON. WILL CAUSE PAIN AND SUFFERING. What would you do? You would probably not open that bottle. You would definitely not drink what is inside. You would back away from it carefully. You would maybe call someone to help you get rid of it safely. You know, without a doubt, that drinking that poison would make you incredibly sick. It might even kill you. Now, I want you to think about resentment. Resentment is that exact same kind of poison. But the bottle it comes in looks very different. It does not have a scary label. Sometimes, it even looks like a delicious drink. It looks like the feeling of being right. It looks like the satisfaction of knowing someone else is wrong. It looks like the energy you get from being angry about an injustice. But make no mistake. It is still poison. And every time we hold onto a resentment, we are choosing to drink that poison. And then we sit around waiting for the other person to get sick. We think, "I am so angry at what they did. I hope they feel bad about it."  But they are out living their life, completely unaware of our feelings. Meanwhile, we are the ones who swallowed the poison. We are the ones who are suffering. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous does not sugarcoat this. It says resentment is the "number one offender." It destroys more people in recovery than anything else. It is more dangerous than any craving.  Why?  Because a craving is obvious. You know it is a monster trying to attack you. Resentment is a trickster. It dresses up like your friend. It makes you feel powerful and justified. It lies to you and tells you that holding onto this anger will protect you. But it is really just poisoning you from the inside out. Let us look at a real-life example that almost everyone can understand. We will call her Maria. Maria has been clean & sober for three years. She is doing great. She has a job she likes, and she goes to her meetings. Then, she goes to a family birthday party. Her cousin, Lisa, is there. Years ago, when Maria was still drinking, she told Lisa a very big secret. She made Lisa promise not to tell anyone. At this party, Maria finds out that Lisa told the secret to several other people in the family. Everyone seems to know. Maria is furious. She feels betrayed. Her face gets hot. She feels humiliated. This is the poison entering her system. She has a choice right then. She can do a quick, quiet inventory. She can recognize the poison for what it is and choose an antidote. Or, she can drink the poison. What does drinking the poison look like for Maria? At the party: She avoids Lisa. She gives her dirty looks. She talks to another cousin about how awful Lisa is. She is not present at the party anymore. She is trapped in her own head, going over the betrayal again and again. The poison is making her miserable at a party that should be fun. On the drive home: She cannot stop thinking about it. She rehearses what she will say to Lisa in her head. Her stomach is in knots. She is so distracted by her anger that she almost runs a red light. The poison is now putting her physical safety at risk. That night: She cannot sleep. She lies in bed, her mind racing. She thinks about every other time Lisa let her down. The resentment is not just about this one thing anymore. It has grown into a giant monster. The poison is now stealing her peace and her sleep. The next day: She is tired and irritable. She snaps at her coworkers for no reason. She feels a craving for a drink for the first time in months. Why? Because her old solution for making this poisoned feeling go away was alcohol. The resentment has brought her to the very edge of relapse. Maria drank the poison. And she is waiting for Lisa to get sick. But Lisa is fine. She is at home, totally unaware of the storm she caused. Maria is the one who is sick, miserable, and close to drinking again. This is how resentment works. It is a poison we choose to drink ourselves. So, if resentment is the poison, what is the antidote? The antidote is called acceptance. Acceptance is the medicine that neutralizes the poison of resentment. The Big Book has a line that is famous for a reason. It says, "And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today." That is a huge statement. Acceptance is the answer to all my problems? How can that be? Acceptance does not mean you like what happened. It does not mean you agree with it. It does not mean the other person was right. It does not mean you are a doormat. Acceptance simply means that you stop arguing with reality. You stop saying, "This should not have happened! This is not fair! They should not have done that!" The fact is, it did happen. It is fair in their mind. They did do that. That is the reality. When you fight against reality, you will always lose.  You are like a person who stands on the beach and commands the waves to stop crashing. The waves do not care. They will keep crashing. You will just end up exhausted, frustrated, and soaked. Acceptance is looking at the wave, and instead of yelling at it, you say, "Okay. I see that there is a wave.  Now, what can I do? I can move my towel back. I can build a sandcastle. I can go for a swim. I can accept that the wave is there and decide how I will respond to it." Let us go back to Maria. What would acceptance look like for her? Acceptance is what she does inside her own head and heart. It happens before she ever says a word to Lisa. At the party, when she first feels the heat of anger, she takes a deep breath. She says to herself: "Okay. I am feeling really angry and hurt right now. The fact is, Lisa told my secret. That happened. I cannot change that fact.  It makes me feel humiliated and my pride is hurt. That is my Column 3. Now, what is my part? Maybe my part is that I told a secret to someone I knew could not keep it. Maybe my part is expecting someone else to be perfect when I am not perfect myself." This is not letting Lisa off the hook. This is letting Maria off the hook. This is Maria choosing not to drink the poison. She is choosing the antidote of acceptance. She accepts that Lisa is a person who gossips. She accepts that she cannot change the past. She accepts her own feelings of hurt. By accepting all of this, she drains the resentment of its power. Now, she can choose what to do next from a place of peace, not anger. Maybe she decides to calmly tell Lisa later that she was hurt, to clean her side of the street.  Maybe she decides that Lisa cannot be trusted with secrets and will adjust her behavior in the future. Maybe she decides to just let it go and pray for Lisa. But no matter what she chooses to do on the outside, she is no longer sick on the inside. She used the antidote. She accepted reality as it is, not as she wished it would be. She stopped arguing with the wave and decided to swim instead. This is a daily practice. The world will always give us reasons to be resentful. People will cut us off in traffic. Politicians will make decisions we hate. Family members will disappoint us. The poison will always be offered to us. Our job, every single day, is to recognize the poison bottle for what it is. We must see the skull and crossbones underneath the pretty label. And then, we must choose the antidote. We must choose acceptance. We must accept life on life's terms. This is how we stay sober, sane, and at peace. Part 3: Making Amends for Our Own Peace There is a huge misunderstanding about the word "amends." For a long time, many people have thought it means you have to go and apologize.  They think it means you have to walk up to someone, say you are sorry, and hope they forgive you. And if they do not forgive you, then the amends did not work. This idea stops a lot of people from ever trying. The thought of having to face someone you hurt is scary. It is embarrassing.  What if they yell at you? What if they tell you they hate you? What if they bring up all the old things you did? It feels like you are setting yourself up to get hurt all over again. But here is the most important thing you will ever learn about making amends: Making amends is not about the other person. It is about you. It is for your peace. The goal of an amendment is not to hear the words "I forgive you." The goal is to clean up your side of the street.  It is to look at yourself in the mirror and know that you have done everything you can to make things right. It is to let go of the guilt and shame you have been carrying around for so long. It is about unlocking the prison door and setting yourself free. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous talks about this in the Ninth Step. It says we make amends to people we have harmed, "except when to do so would injure them or others." This is a very wise rule. It means we have to think before we act. Sometimes, walking up to someone and saying, "Remember that terrible thing I did five years ago?" would only hurt them all over again.  It would stir up old pain for no good reason. In those cases, making a direct amendment is not the right thing to do. But that does not mean we get to do nothing. We are not off the hook. We still have to clean our side of the street. So how do we do that? We do something called a living amendment or a mental amendment. A living amendment means you change your behavior. You stop doing the harmful thing. You become a better person. Your life itself becomes the apology. A mental amend is something you do inside your own heart and mind to find peace when you cannot talk to the other person directly. Let us look at some real-life examples to see how this works. Example 1: David and His Father David grew up with a father who was very critical. Nothing David ever did was good enough. His father would make fun of his grades, his hobbies, and his friends. This made David feel small and worthless. For years, David carried a massive resentment against his father. He was angry all the time. When David got into recovery, he did his inventory. He wrote his father's name in Column 1. In Column 4, he had to find his part. This was hard. What was his part in his father being mean to him? After thinking deeply, David found his part. His part was that he had spent his whole life seeking his father's approval. He kept trying to get love from a person who did not know how to give it.  His part was that he held onto this anger for decades, letting it poison all of his other relationships. He was selfish with his own happiness, letting his father control his feelings even from far away. A direct amend might not work here. David's father is old and set in his ways. Trying to talk to him might just start a big fight. So, what does David do? He makes a living amend. To his father: The living amendment is to stop expecting his father to change. David accepts that his father is who he is. He decides to call him on holiday and be polite, but to stop hoping for a deep conversation. He protects his own peace by lowering his expectations. To himself: The living amend is to stop believing the old, critical voice in his head that sounds like his father. He practices being kind to himself. He celebrates his own successes. To others: The living amendment is to be the opposite of his father. He makes sure he is supportive and kind to his own children and his friends. He breaks the cycle of criticism. David's amendment is not something he says. It is something he does. He lives his amendment every day by being a new kind of man. This is how he cleans his side of the street. Example 2: Maria and the Car Accident Years ago, Maria was in a car accident. She was drinking and driving. She crashed her car into another car. Thankfully, no one was seriously hurt, but the other driver was shaken up and their car was damaged.  Maria was arrested. She was filled with so much shame that she never contacted the other driver after the court case was over. It is one of the biggest shames of her life. Now she is sober and working the steps. She knows she needs to make an amend to this person. But the thought of calling them up is terrifying. Would it help them, or would it just scare them and bring back bad memories? It would probably injure them all over again. So what can Maria do? She can make a mental amend. First, she sits down quietly. She might pray or meditate. She thinks directly about the person she harmed. In her mind, she says, "I am so sorry for what I did. I put your life in danger because of my selfishness and my disease.  I hope you are safe and happy now. I forgive myself for my past so I can be a better person today." This is not just thinking. It is a conscious act of sending out an apology into the universe. It is a way of acknowledging the harm she caused and releasing the shame she has been carrying. Then, she makes a living amend. To the other driver: Maria cannot talk to them, but she can live a life that honors their experience. She never, ever drinks and drives. She becomes a vocal advocate against drunk driving. She volunteers to tell her story to high school students. To herself: The living amend is to forgive herself. She accepts that she did a terrible thing, but she is not a terrible person. She is a sick person who got well. She uses her mistake to help others. Maria's amend is powerful. It is real. She is cleaning her side of the street by changing her life. She is making sure that her past mistake is turned into something useful that can help other people. This is how she finds peace. A New Pair of Glasses Imagine you have been wearing the same pair of glasses for ten years. The lenses are scratched and smudged. They are covered in dirt and dust. They are so dirty that you have forgotten what clear glass even looks like.  You think this blurry, gloomy, distorted view is just what the world looks like. You think everyone sees things this way. You squint and struggle through your days, feeling like the world is a hostile and confusing place. Then, one day, someone helps you take those old glasses off. They clean the lenses perfectly. They even put in a new prescription that is exactly right for your eyes. Then they hand the glasses back to you. You put them on. What happens next is nothing short of a miracle. Suddenly, you can see. Really see. The world is not a blurry, gloomy place at all. The colors are bright and vibrant.  The edges of things are sharp and clear. You can see details in leaves on trees and smiles on people's faces that you never noticed before.  You did not change the world. You changed the way you see the world. You got a new pair of glasses. This is what the process you just learned about—the inventory, the acceptance, the amends—really is. It is not about fixing the entire world. The world is still the same. It is still messy and complicated and unfair sometimes. This process is about cleaning your lenses. It is about getting a new prescription for how you look at life. It is about learning to see clearly. Before recovery, many of us saw the world through a lens of fear and resentment. Every look was filtered through questions like: What can I get?  How are they going to hurt me? Why does this always happen to me? This was our dirty, scratched-up lens. It made everything seem like a threat. The tools we have talked about—the daily inventory, seeing resentment as poison, choosing acceptance, and making amends—are our lens cleaner. They are our new prescription. Let us go back to our friend Maria from the earlier examples. Remember her? She found out her cousin Lisa had told her secret at a family party. Old Glasses (The Dirty Lens): Through her old glasses, Maria saw the situation like this: "Lisa is a terrible, awful person. She betrayed me on purpose to hurt me. This whole family is against me. I am a victim. Now I have to be angry and miserable and probably should just leave this party." New Glasses (The Clean Lens): After using her tools, Maria sees the same situation with new eyes: "I feel really hurt that Lisa told my secret. The fact is, she did tell it. I accept that she is a person who gossips sometimes. My part is that I told a secret to someone I knew could not always keep them. I can feel hurt, but I do not have to let this ruin my night. I will talk to her about it later when I am calm, and I will be more careful what I share with her in the future. For now, I am going to go enjoy my aunt's cake." Do you see the difference? The situation did not change. Lisa did not change. The only thing that changed was how Maria chose to see it and respond to it. She switched from her dirty lenses to her clean ones. This is the daily work of recovery. It is not a one-time fix. You will have to clean your glasses every single day.  Sometimes, you might get a new scratch on them and need to work a little harder to polish it out. The world is a dusty place. It will always try to dirty your lenses. But now, you have the tools. You have the cloth and the cleaner. You know what to do. When you feel that old familiar heat of anger... That is your signal that your lenses are getting dirty. That is your cue to take a quiet moment. That is your reminder to ask yourself the simple questions: Who am I mad at? What happened? Why does it bother me? What is my part? When you ask these questions, you are wiping the dust away. When you choose acceptance over fighting, you are applying the cleaner.  When you make an amendment, whether through action or in your heart, you are putting on your glasses and seeing the world with clear, sharp eyes. This is how we stay sober. Real sobriety is not just about not drinking or using drugs. That is just the beginning.  Real sobriety is about building a life you do not want to escape from. It is about finding a peace that is so real and so strong that the chaos of the world cannot touch it. It is about looking at the same world you always lived in and finally seeing its beauty. It is about looking at the same problems and finally seeing solutions.  It is about looking at the same people and finally seeing their pain, instead of just your own. You get to choose your glasses every single day. You can choose the old, dirty, scratched-up pair that makes everything look like a threat. Or you can choose the new, clean, clear pair that shows you the truth. The world will keep turning. The news will still have scary stories. People will still say things that hurt your feelings. Life will still be unpredictable. But now that we have chosen to confront our  angry emotions and actively practice  These spiritual lessons help us free ourselves from negative emotions  We will comprehend the word serenity  And we will know peace … You’ve Got This. And when it’s hard? Come back to this guide and take a deep breath. I hope and pray you all got something from this info Please join us on Instagram or Facebook. We would love to hear from you  Thank you for your time  I wish you all another day, Clean and Sober  Boris Schaak

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What to Expect in Your Addiction Recovery Journey and How to Overcome Roadblocks

What to Expect in Your Addiction Recovery Journey and How to Overcome Roadblocks

Starting the journey into addiction recovery is like beginning a long hike up Mount Everest It is simple, you go up. But without a plan and a guide  You probably get lost  At Sober Soldier, we understand this journey. Having worked with people of all ages and backgrounds who were suffering from addiction, you just have to start. Take the first step, even if it is a baby step.   At first, the path might seem steep and unclear. There will be tough climbs, beautiful views, and maybe some unexpected turns. However, with the right guide and plan, you can reach the top. This blog is your guide to what lies ahead. We'll walk through: The different stages of recovery and what to expect Common challenges you might face along the way Practical tools to help you through tough moments Real stories from people who've been where you are Recovery is never easy, but it's always worth it. Every person who stays clean has to start right where they are at now. The good news? You don't have to figure it all out at once  By understanding what's coming, you'll be better prepared to handle the journey. There will be good days and hard days, but each step forward matters. Whether you're just starting out or have been sober for a while, this guide will help you keep moving in the right direction. II. The Stages of Addiction Recovery: A Roadmap for Your Journey Recovery doesn't happen all at once. It comes in stages, each with its own challenges and victories. Understanding these phases helps you prepare for what's coming and recognize how far you've come. Let's break down each stage in detail. Mental Grit Challenge We have published a PDF on our website where we have laid out a week-by-week plan to help you get started in your journey to recovery. It's a 3-week-long program with tasks, challenges, and helpful tips all proven to help people get on the right path to recovery. Please shoot us a text here. Mention that you want to get access to our mental grit challenge. Stage 1: Early Recovery (First 30 Days) This is the most physically and emotionally intense period. Your body and brain are adjusting to functioning without substances. What to Expect: Physical Symptoms: Shaking, sweating, or nausea (from withdrawal) Extreme tiredness or trouble sleeping   cravings that come in waves Emotional Changes: Mood swings (happy one minute, angry and sad the next) Feeling empty or numb without drugs/alcohol Anxiety  Sleep problems How to Get Through It: Follow medical advice for withdrawal Practice  good nutrition Practice good hydration  Practice good rest Go for 20-minute walks daily  Attend 12-step meetings daily  Celebrate each clean day Stage 2: Stabilization (1-6 Months) Your body has mostly healed, but now the real work begins. This is when you build your new, clean life. What to Expect: Mental Changes: Clearer thinking and better memory Learning what triggers your cravings Discovering emotions you numbed with substances Life Adjustments: Repairing relationships damaged by addiction Finding new ways to have fun without drugs/alcohol Dealing with boredom (a major relapse risk) How to Get Through It: Create a daily routine with work, recovery, and fun Identify and avoid your biggest triggers Try new hobbies to replace old habits Build a sober support network Be patient with yourself and others Stage 3: Ongoing Recovery (6-18 Months) Now you're building long-term sober skills. The cravings lessen, but new challenges appear. What to Expect: Personal Growth: Gaining confidence in your sobriety Facing problems you used to avoid Discovering who you are without addiction Social Changes: Some friends may not support your sobriety Learning to go to parties or events sober Work the 12 steps  How to Get Through It: Stay connected to your recovery community Help others who are newer in recovery Set healthy boundaries with people Keep learning about addiction and recovery Prepare for "pink cloud" days when you feel too confident Stage 4: Maintenance (18+ Months) Sobriety becomes your normal way of life, but staying alert remains important. What to Expect: Life Balance: Sober living feels natural most days Occasional strong cravings may surprise you New stressors (job changes, relationships) test your recovery Continued Growth: Working on deeper emotional healing Finding greater purpose beyond just staying clean  Be of service How to Get Through It: Keep recovery activities in your schedule Watch for overconfidence ("I'm cured" thinking) Address any mental health issues with professionals Be accountable/ be of service  Keep growing your sober coping skills Important Notes About Stages: Everyone Moves Differently: Your timeline might be faster or slower Some stages may overlap It's normal to revisit earlier stages sometimes Relapse Doesn't Reset Everything: If you slip up, you keep the skills you learned Get back on track quickly with support Learn from what triggered the relapse Progress Isn't Always Visible: Healing happens even when you can't see it Small daily steps add up over time Your future sober self will thank you III. Common Roadblocks in Recovery (and How to Overcome Them) Recovery is like driving on a long road trip. You'll encounter bumps, detours, and maybe even some road closures along the way. The good news? Every successful person in recovery has faced these same challenges and found ways through them. Here's your guide to navigating the most common obstacles. For anyone in early recovery, nutrition is one of the most important aspects. And we understand that it's difficult to figure out all the nutrition you need. Addiction leaves the body malnourished and severely deficient in vital nutrients. And the hard part is not knowing how to even get the nutrients in your body in the first place. We created Life Force to help you get all the nutrients you need, especially when you need them the most during the early parts of recovery. Full body nutrition in every single scoop.  The best thing is, it's cheaper than coffee. Every single scoop costs only $2.5. Try out our Life Force Organic Powder. 1. Cravings and Urges What Happens:Your brain remembers how substances made you feel good and tries to trick you into using them again. Cravings can feel overwhelming, but they always pass. Why It Happens: Your brain's reward system is healing Certain people, places, or feelings trigger memories Stress makes cravings stronger What Really Works: The 15 Minute Rule: When a craving hits, wait 15 minutes before doing anything. Most cravings fade in this time. Craving Journal: Write down: What triggered it How strong it was (1-10) What you did instead of using Distraction Toolkit: Keep a list of quick activities (call a friend, take a shower, do push-ups) 2. Emotional Rollercoasters What Happens:Early recovery often brings big mood swings - anger, sadness, or feeling numb. This is normal as your brain chemicals rebalance. Common Emotional Challenges: Feeling everything at once after numbing for so long Trouble handling stress without substances Guilt about past mistakes Healthy Coping Skills: Feelings Chart: Keep a simple chart to name emotions (many people in recovery struggle with this at first) Grounding Techniques: For overwhelming moments: Name 5 things you see Name 4 things you feel Name 3 things you hear Name 2 things you smell Name 1 thing you taste Daily Emotional Check-ins: Morning and night, ask: "How do I feel today?" 3. Social Challenges Common Problems: Friends who still use Feeling left out of old activities Trouble making new sober friends Practical Solutions: The 3 People Rule: Identify 3 people you can call anytime who support your recovery Scripts for Tough Situations: Practice what to say when: Someone offers you a drink ("No thanks, I'm driving") Friends pressure you ("I'm taking a break for health reasons") Sober Socializing: Try: Coffee dates instead of bar nights Recovery community events Be physically active 4. Boredom and Empty Time Why It's Dangerous:Addiction filled lots of time. Empty hours can lead to relapse. Filling the Void: Daily Schedule Template: Morning: ______ Afternoon: ______ Evening: ______ The 1-Hour Rule: If bored, try something for 1 hour before quitting. Good options: Read recovery stories Try a YouTube workout Cook a simple new recipe Rediscovering Old Interests: What did you enjoy before addiction? Try it again. 5. Sleep Problems Common Issues: Trouble falling asleep Waking up often Bad dreams or night sweats Sleep Solutions That Help: Bedtime Routine: No screens 1 hour before bed Warm caffeine-free tea Light stretching Same bedtime every night For Nightmares: Keep a notebook by bed to write them down - this often lessens their power When You Can't Sleep: Get up and do something quiet (reading, puzzles) until tired 6. Overconfidence ("I'm Cured" Thinking) The Danger: After some sober time, you might think you don't need support anymore. Stay Grounded: Daily Reminders: Say to yourself, "My recovery comes first." Help Others: Volunteering keeps you humble and grateful Play the Tape Through: When tempted, imagine the full consequences, not just the first drink/hit 7. Financial and Legal Problems Common Issues: Debt from active addiction Trouble finding work Legal consequences Step-by-Step Solutions: Make a Money Plan: List all debts Contact creditors to explain your situation Even $5 payments show effort Job Search Tips: Be honest about recovery when appropriate Highlight new skills learned in recovery Consider temp agencies that work with people in recovery Legal Help: Many areas have free legal clinics Some courts have recovery-focused programs Document all recovery activities (meetings, counseling) 8. Relapse Warning Signs Early Signs (Days/Weeks Before): Stopping recovery activities Isolating from sober supports Romanticizing past use Small lies returning What to Do If You Notice These: Tell someone immediately Go to extra meetings Revisit your relapse prevention plan Remove any access to substances Remember: Roadblocks don't mean you're failing - they mean you're human. Every person who stays sober long-term faces these same challenges. The difference is that they learned how to get through them. You can too. IV. Tools and Strategies for Success in Recovery Building a strong recovery is like constructing a house—you need the right tools and a solid plan. This section provides detailed, practical strategies to help you stay sober and thrive in your new life. 1. Building a Support System Why It Matters:Recovery is nearly impossible to do alone. A strong support network keeps you accountable and provides help when you need it most. How to Build Your Team: A. Professional Support Therapists/Counselors: Look for addiction specialists Schedule regular check-ins, even when you feel fine Be honest about cravings or struggles Doctors: For medication management and health monitoring Get bloodwork to check vitamin levels Discuss sleep issues B. Peer Support 12-Step or Alternative Groups Try different meetings to find your fit Get phone numbers from members Get a sponsor  Recovery Apps Sober Grid (sober social network) I Am Sober (tracker and community) C. Personal Relationships Family/Friends Have honest conversations about your needs Set clear boundaries (example: "I can't be around drinking right now") Recovery Buddies Find someone at a similar stage Check in daily at first 2. Creating a Relapse Prevention Plan Why You Need One:Relapse rarely happens suddenly—it's usually the result of small warning signs adding up. Step-by-Step Plan: Step 1: Identify Your Triggers Make three lists: People/places/things that tempt you Emotional states (anger, loneliness, etc.) Times of day/year that are hardest Step 2: Early Warning Signs Notice small changes like: Skipping meetings Isolating more Poor sleep/eating habits Step 3: Emergency Coping Skills Create a "Relapse Prevention Kit" with: List of phone numbers Inspirational readings Distraction activities (puzzles, art supplies) Step 4: Daily Maintenance Morning: Set your intention ("Today I will stay sober by...") Evening: Review your day ("What helped? What was hard?") 3. Developing Healthy Daily Habits The Recovery Trinity (Essential Daily Practices): A. Physical Health Nutrition: Eat protein with every meal (helps brain chemicals) Reduce sugar (can trigger cravings) Stay hydrated (dehydration mimics withdrawal) Exercise: 30 minutes daily (walking counts) Yoga/stretching for stress relief Sleep: Set consistent bedtime/wake time No screens 1 hour before bed B. Mental Health Mindfulness: 5-minute breathing exercises Body scans to notice tension Journaling Prompts: "Today I'm grateful for..." "One challenge I handled well..." C. Spiritual Growth Doesn't have to be religious Could include: Nature time Meditation Reading inspiring stories 4. Managing Stress Without Substances The 4-Step Stress Solution: Notice Early Signs Clenched jaw? Racing thoughts? Irritability? Pause Stop what you're doing Take 3 deep breaths Choose a Healthy Response Quick options: Splash cold water on your face Listen to calming music Squeeze a stress ball Process Later Talk to someone Write about what happened Problem-solve if needed 5. Handling Special Challenges A. Holidays/Special Events Have an exit plan Bring your own non-alcoholic drinks Schedule extra support before/after B. Cravings at Night Keep your hands busy (adult coloring books, knitting) Have herbal tea ready Call your support person C. When Others Relapse It's not your fault Focus on your own recovery Set boundaries if needed 6. Tracking Your Progress Recovery Check-In System: Daily: Mood rating (1-10) Cravings intensity Meetings attended Weekly: Review triggers faced Note the coping skills used Celebrate small wins Monthly: Compared to previous months Adjust your plan as needed Reward milestones (30/60/90 days) 7. When You Need Extra Help Warning Signs to Seek Professional Help: Thoughts of self-harm Severe depression lasting weeks Panic attacks that won't stop Where to Find Help: Your treatment center's aftercare Local mental health clinics Crisis hotlines (keep numbers saved) VI. Conclusion: Your Journey Continues Recovery is not a destination—it's a path you walk every day. This guide has shown you what to expect, the challenges you might face, and the tools that can help you stay strong. Remember these key truths as you move forward: Recovery Takes TimeHealing doesn't happen overnight. Be patient with yourself as you grow. Challenges Are NormalEvery person in recovery faces obstacles. What matters is how you respond to them. Small Steps MatterGoing to one meeting, making one phone call, or getting through one tough day—these victories add up. Support Makes the DifferenceYou don't have to do this alone. Reach out when you need help, and offer help when you can. Relapse Doesn't Mean FailureIf you slip up, it's not the end. What matters is getting back on track. Your Next Steps Choose one strategy from this guide to try this week Share what you've learned with someone else in recovery Remember how far you've already come Final ThoughtYour recovery story is still being written. Some days will be easy, and some will test your strength. But every sober day is proof that change is possible. Keep going—one day, one hour, one moment at a time. You have what it takes to build this new life. You’ve Got This. And when it’s hard? Come back to this guide and take a deep breath. I hope and pray you all got something from this info Please join us on Instagram or Facebook. We would love to hear from you  Thank you for your time  I wish you all another day, Clean and Sober  Boris Schaak

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